I didn't make it to week two in Brigit's Flame, which I FULLY expected, because my entry honked. I am fine with this. I actually made it to a runoff vote. This is damn surprising to me.

Anyway. Here is my "Just for fun" entry for week two. I'm doing all the weeks this time, just on general principle. I'm trying really to get an idea down for something I'm building. So I thought I'd "story" it. And I wanted to keep entering in body part month - because my week one sucked for an unacceptable reason.
( THE CENTER MUST HOLD )

I am a little concerned about my Brigit's Flame entry. It's pretty frank. I'm usually a person who censors that kind of stuff.

But I didn't on Friday. I got caught off guard.

I'm glad that I got caught off guard on livejournal. I've been blogging on livejournal since 2001. I don't blog much, simply because the whole process confuses and upsets me. I don't like it. I don't like telling people where I am and what I'm doing all the time. I don't think it's their business.

I got caught off guard by a phone call from a person that has given me whiny, stupid trouble for over a decade. It's at the point where people are really sick of hearing about it. I feel he's alienated me from many friends and professional connections. I'm in a social situation with many old friends (who are many of his old and/or current friends) where it's impossible to just walk away and avoid him and never see him again. Awkward.

There is contact, from time to time. For whatever reason. When it's been a while, he initiates it. And while things look completely normal and fine on the surface to everyone else, he says the most messed up and subversive crap to me. Occasionally I tell people about it at dinner, lunch, polite conversation ... Dear God! they say. But it's uncool. Why should I be the one to shit in the salad?

I know this is gross. But I feel that this is about how unattractive I've become to people. That's about the effect that this has all had on my career. I've "started over" from "a writing period" three times.

I'm trying to do things differently now. Trying to put this person at arm's length. Place things under a better spotlight. Lampoon them if need be. Point them out if necessary. Satirize if I must. Cope somehow. If I can't beat, join. Most importantly, realize I will get nothing out of it.

But when it affects something that may well have been work, I have to take a pause.

Brigit's Flame, that's excusable. I can ask not to be edited this week. I already know that my story blows. I've re-read my story and it's terrible. Things were ruined by the phone call. I showed concern at some very real trouble he's having and then, once again, something shitty happened (usually it's something that makes me feel like shoe-dirt). I've had something like this happen before, when I did Song Fu. I was distracted the week before so much that I barely got the song in by deadline. I really didn't do any mastering worth mentioning. The song was barely audible. And this story is barely readable. It sounds like this does right now. A whiny diary entry.

This is going to be the tenor of my entire career if I don't watch it.

In a way, this makes good art. A lot of my songs that deal with this subject are good songs. But this can't be all that I am. This can't be the thing that motivates me to create. And when I look at my material, I see that it isn't. I just get really paranoid sometimes. Especially when these things have a way of popping up right before crunch time ... and I am usually a much more skillful self editor of such things!

Limits girl! Limits...

This is the story for the prompt 'In Step' The language may not be appropriate for minors, or the sensitive. You have been warned!

Just a quick post at philosophywithfries ...

BRIGIT'S FLAME ENTRY for Round 2


( 'Gear' )

 Banning myself from da'Face was a REALLY good instinct. I popped on to unblock Rock-n-Rolldemort. Because I shouldn't have to block people unless they are actively threatening you with death. It's lame and ridiculous.

I guess it doesn't really matter anyway when you think you're being shunned and ignored and basically you're not, because you end up out for a "friendly coffee" until 3 in the am on a Thursday night with your non-friend.

What the hell am I doing? I am a psychopath. A damned sick person that needs a friggin support group.

So I have given myself hella work to do. Distraction. You know, since the pattern of Text-Ignore-Patheticness-RelationshipFAIL has now commenced. Ulk!

PS. Worst quote of the evening: I am just surrounded by all these dark haired, green-eyed, Scorpio women ... I can't get away from them ... the universe this-that-blah-blah ...

 I'm banned from Facebook, because I have a serious problem. But I'm seriously getting over my serious problem. Seriously. I was so good today. I'm completely and utterly getting stuff done. Yah, yah, yah. Watch me work it, bitches. 

Damn I'm lame ...

Facebook. Where having a passive stalker turns you into an active stalker. 

 I think it's time for me to come back to this journal, and blog. No more secret journals. Keeping philosophy for workie-type stuff. I'll make it private if it skeeves me out. I miss it, and it's time to come back. Ack. So there. 

Here is...
( 'This Thing Between Us' )

This is my first week September entry for the Brigit's Flame writing contest. If they let me in on a "just for fun" I'll be lucky, I've been trying to get things posted and I didn't really understand the instructions. I think I was supposed to link it here and then take a poll and re-direct. Oh well. I got a story done. Boo-hoo.

I've posted this baby EVERYWHERE. I'm doing it ONE LAST TIME. Then I am DONE!
PR is so LAAAAMMMME.

But this song isn't. And I'm proud of it. So:
You will find a lyricless little ditty called 'Anna's Gerbil and the Singularity' at Quick Stop Entertainment's Masters of Song Fu Round 2 page. I also posted a plot synopsis on my other blog that I write more music-y stuff on. I'll stick that blog on my official site when I get around to it later, but for now I try to keep a more professional tone on philosophywithfries. That's the plan anyway. Ha, ha.

You really should vote if ya haven't, 'cuz
1. Because I've been typing about it all day.
2. Because I was brave and the song has no lyrics, which is uncommon in a songwriting competition.
3. Because it's my first piece of totally electronic music.
4. Because you LOOOOOOVEEEEEE me! :)
5. Because if I don't get off the computer and find some cheese to eat, I will turn into an emoticon.

If you've heard about this on Facebook, myspace, twitter, my wordpress, or wherever else - I deeply apologize. You're done. If the aliens told you about it, I'm sorry, you're done. No, you'll probably hear about it some more. Tell you're friends. I'm a drama queen about it all. At least I'm YOUR drama queen.

Yeah, you're not done. And there's a round three. Oh wellers. (yeah, I said that.)
I'm going to go blab about this some more on some COMMUNITIES. Then I'll go eat some cheese. Wheee!

Do realize I never post here, but there you go. And I'm going to post this into a couple communities too, trying not to obnoxiously cross post. Spam is annoying. Apologies if you're sick of hearing about the song contest already, and thank you for your support. :)

I'm in a song contest. That's what I've been doing for a while. Writing. Bettering myself. Rather than sitting in front of the television, eating yogurt-covered pretzels. Well, I still eat yogurt covered pretzels. But now I do it while learning to record stuff. I'm not really an engineer yet (example, I don't know how to master, at all and normalization is a bit of a mystery!), but I'm learning with GUSTO.

So vote for my SONG FU song here. There's an EVEN BETTER RECORDING here on my myspace page. Or forward this to EVERYONE you know so that THEY can vote for it. I've got TWO MORE VOTES to go before I edge over the 40 vote mark. Yee-hah!

'Leave the Stone Alone' LYRICS are HERE
Now the voting engine is having trouble. So you may have to try a few times. This is a pain, so action will really jack up your karma! :) Also, to further add to the confusion, my track is a bit ... quiet. Make sure you turn it up. Yes, I will learn how to normalize properly in the next round. The song is still, however, a STUNNER!

DH, out

PS. By the way, the song is called 'Leave the Stone Alone.' Not 'Leave the Stone Alone_Yep.' It's a long story. :)

At work now ... calmer.

( Ewww ... No. 1 )

I have a huge flood of creative energy right now. I'm in the middle of eight different things - and I can feel all my plans coming together. 

I am going to try to forge bravely forward, forgetting conversations about Joan of Arc and other types of crapola.  I'm going to try to distill the little lists I'm keeping in my brain, and remind myself that brain lists are good enough. 

Because when I do this ... when I get flow ... that's when it usually starts.  That's when I get the phone call.  I'm releasing some kind of universe drug, and I'm on a happy - and I just ... crash.

So I thought I'd write it down so that I could look at it and just -

keep working.

I'm at alamo draft house about to watch a movie with my friend jay and his date, who put neosporin on my slightly infected new tattoo while we were standing outside the theatre even though I'd just met her. Its been a dramatic couple of days, but I've gott pretty fast at thumb typing on the iPhone, so its nice to be able to write a couple of sentences. Even if the spelling much ilnit be consistnet. Blah.

I'm sure there will be more drama later, because there's so much to blog about I donthavetime to write. And so much new work and project-stuff I don't have timeto do it. Aggggg.

Wrong time to be babysitting ex-church folk, exes in general, the clueless, and my young friends in their early 20s. Its time to quit drinking, folks

This is of course courtesy of mmcalli  


I guess it's for campers ... but WOW!!!

What I was going to actually post, when I was coming on here earlier - was that I have been going through my lj again.  I've made the decision to go back through it.  I'm putting tags on everything.  More importantly - I've decided to make all the entries (or most of them, if not all) - public.